Monday, 22 August 2016

Tentacular Love

I like your self-confidence
and the way you smile at me
I like the way you're not afraid

it's like reaching out eight tentacles to you
All eight, to try to make you understand
you reach back and catch me with two hands
you don't understand

There's a gap the size an ocean
There's a gap the size of the sea
There's a gap the size of da-dada dada
between you and me

Goodbye tentacular love
I set you free,
I release
my tentacular love

your lack of oceanity is disappointing to me
but you can't help the way you're made

Friday, 5 August 2016

Hopel

+ Once upon a time there was a beautiful Principality, ruled by a Princess.  Well, maybe it wasn’t that beautiful – it was rainy, and muddy in places – but the citizens liked it.

+ The Princess lived in a tower with her companion and defender Row, also known as Relationships-With-Others.  The Princess and Row normally got along well, although sometimes the Princess would be irritable or snappy, or simply decide to be alone, and Row would disappear for a while.  When the Princess was lonely she was always sorry, and Row recovered, but the Principality was always weaker when Row was away.

+ The tower also held two librarians.  The junior librarian was called Nostalgia, while the head of the library and keeper of Happy Memories was called Hamen.  There was also a Dark Librarian, who stored those things the denizens of the tower would rather not look at too closely or too often; he was called Mescar, and he mostly worked in the shadows.  He also cared for the two ravens who had lived in the palace for longer than anyone could remember.  Their formal names were Re-enacting Childhood Patterns, and Need-To-Be-Loved, though they were generally called Sakid and Needsy.  Sometimes, they would attach themselves to the Princess’s shoulders and whisper terrible things in her ears while Slove tried to shoo them away.  They were allowed to remain in the palace because they were a useful warning system.  Sometimes though, when things were going well, Slove wondered if they were too delicate, too easy to trigger, and too quick to warn of something that wasn’t really a danger.

+ The Princesses three academic tutors were Fari, who taught crafting, Rea, who taught creating, and Lems, who taught problem-solving.  The Princess normally found her lessons absorbing, and when she studied frequently the Principality was a better place.

+ The tower was also hope to Physe, who taught dance, swimming, and walking, amongst other forms of physical activity.  Again, the Principality was happier, more reasonable place when Physe was in residence, although sometimes he would abandon the Principality for weeks on end.  Slove – who we will describe momentarily – was never sure if the Fog of Despondency, which coincided with Physe’s absences, came about because Physe left or whether the Fog was what drove him away.

+ Slove had a number of titles.  Love of self.  Ability to amuse self.  Ability to be happy in one’s own company.  Lack of neediness.  Lack of unreasonable reliance on inappropriate sources of affection.

+ He was, technically, the Principality’s general and chief protector.  He also organised the Princess’s schedule, ran bubble baths, fetched books, and generally buttled his way about the place.

+ Slove was a weedy little guy.  He wanted to be powerful, strong, and noble.  He wanted to protect the Princess, to keep her safe and to stop her from being kidnapped all the time.

+ He was lazy, that was his weakness.  When everything was going well he’d start slacking off.  He’d let the Princess stay home, respond to conversation only when spoken to, and stop keeping up with her interests.  Then when things got bad – when the Principality faced money troubles, or was lonely or just bored – another disaster would pop up.

+ Normally it was Hope-of-New-Love-Interest – Hopel -, who would kidnap the Princess, locking her in a whirlwind of confusion.  Her hopes would constantly rise and be dashed, an addictive rollercoaster that was hard to escape from.   It was even harder when Row was away or otherwise weakened.  Fari, Rea, Physe and Lems tried to help Slove with his rescue attempts, but they were struggled to awaken the Princess from her daze.  Nostalgia and Hamen were no help at all in the matter. 

+ The very worst thing of all, and the reason that Nostalgia and Hamen were unhelpful, was that Hopel was not always bad.  If Slove and the others kept the Princess in check, and kept the ravens away, and Hopel was *good* then sometimes Hopel would mutate into Eros, Ludus, Pragma, or a combination of the three.  Row still wore many of the capes and accoutrements that Hopel had brought in the form of Pragma, while Nostalgia and Hamen had many volumes written by Eros or Ludus.  Whenever Hopel had appeared they would refer to these volumes, contributing the Princess’s heavy daze.

+ Hopel was a creature of fire; the Princess was a creature of water.  She could not get too close without being changed.  Hopel could add a gentle warmth and simmer to her life – or he could boil her away to nothing.

+ As well as confusion and distraction, Hopel had the power to show himself in many different guises, in multiple places at once.  He was much weaker in this guise; when he appeared as multiple suitors, the Princess would divide her focus between them, weakening the distracting/confusing effect of each one, and allowing Fari, Rea, Lems, and Row to distract her, and pull her from the fog.  Slove would then step in, at the last minute, to deal the final blow to Hopel.

+ Sometimes, Needsy and Sakid would attach themselves to the Princesses shoulders, weakening her defences against Hopel and allowing him to mutate into Unhappy-Relationship, or, worse, Abusive-Relationship.  The few times that had happened, Slove and the other denizens had successfully rescued the Princess, but it had taken months to recover.  Slove still had scars from those encounters.  Mescar had been very helpful in rescuing the Princess and his Dark Library had gained more volumes for his trouble.

+ Word had recently come to the palace that Hopel had been seen crossing the border, heading to the palace to try to win his Princess once again.  Slove began to train.  This time, he swore, it would all go right.  The Princess would not slip into a daze.  He would not let her neglect Row, and she would continue to attend lessons with the tutors.  He would carefully monitor Nostalgia and Hamen, to ensure they never appeared without Mescar, and vica versa; all three librarians must be kept in careful balance.  And he would strangle those bloody ravens.

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Some Songs I've Been Working On

I made a deal with the devil
to keep this pain away
I've made a deal with the devil
just to make you stay

It's my name on the contract
My name on the line

---

I can see it in your eyes
You're wondering
What I see in her
I can't explain

If you could see
the way she is
when we're alone

if you could only see
the way she was
When we were alone

I can only see
the way she is
I think I'd better be alone

---

I was only sixteen
it took you five weeks
to break me, inch by savage inch

It took you five days,
When I was twenty-eight
to break me, inch by savage inch

---

You said that you loved me
said you adored me
said you'd do anything for me
but now...
but now...

I hear you're chasing after someone else's tale
Making yourself the hero
of someone else's life
they'll say that yours is the greatest
tragedy ever told
but what am I?
Where do I fit in?

(Bridge)
Now you're gone
and I wonder
am I just the girl you
cast aside
at the end of act one?

You said that you loved me
said you adored me
said you'd do anything for me
You swore by the moon
You swore by the stars
You swore you'd be true
but now...
but now...

teach me how to forget to think
of you
Teach me how not to sink
under the burden of you
Teach me how not to drown
in the unkept promises
which are all you left me with

You said that you loved me
said you adored me
said you'd do anything for me

---

the sky does not turn for your decision
worlds do not depend on you
Only I, and I alone,
and I change the stars for no one

you don't see me
you won't see me
any more