Lost at Sea

For me, at this point in my life, depression is like being lost at sea.  Stranded, on a tiny bit of floating ice.  Oh sure, there are things you could do.  You could try swimming.  You can hope for rescue.  You can try to steer the ice.  But all of these things seem so pointless.  You know land is out there, but you can't see it.  It's hard to believe you'll make it.

Then you come across another island.  Maybe someone reached out a hand and helped you onto theirs for a moment.  Maybe you found something, anything, to get you through a few more hours.  The goal is to build stepping stones, so you can take step after step onto something new, anything that will keep you moving forward.  Anything that stops you sinking.

One day, there'll be enough things that you'll be running across dry land.  For now, you're floating alone, looking for a baby step to get started.

The Controllers - Summaries

These are notes, on a story which has lived in my head since I was ten.

Summary

One night, the UK is forever changed when an army of robots stage a hostile takeover. Five children are rescued and raised by a mysterious professor; Luke, Megan, Harvey, Shirley, and Rachel. Ten years after the initial attack, their base is finally found, and the Professor is killed. The teenagers set out alone, with the goal of finding the Controller’s base and defeating them once and for all.

While scavenging for food, they accidentally capture/rescue one of the taken humans, Lance. He has a memory chip on his brain which, when removed, destroys all memory of the Controllers. Harvey slips the chip onto Shirley. They keep Lance with them, rather than returning him, and spend more time exploring.

NOTE: The hypnosis is very short lived – a few hours. This is why the memory chips, which can also double as mind-control devices (they were originally intended as such; the memory bit is a side effect) are put onto the humans.

Unbeknownst to them, Lance has a tracking device as well as the memory device on him, and the Controller’s leader, Alan, finds them. He approaches Harvey, and reveals himself to be Harvey’s father. Harvey agrees to go with him, as ruling the UK is something he could definitely see himself doing. Due to his obsessive attraction to Shirley, he does not allow his father to destroy the group, though he accepts that they cannot kidnap Shirley at that point.

The group spends time exploring and gathering information. They briefly connect with one other group, who are able to tell them where the base is. Shirley and Lance connect, through late-night talks, and a magical moment on a merry-go-round which, surprisingly, still works. Megan is the only one who really misses Harvey, due to his general creepiness.

The group find the base and infiltrate it. (NOTE: The plans were at their original base the whole time.

IDEA: The plans where always on their original intranet. However, with their base destroyed, they need a new laptop and a way to hack into it. This becomes their goal, with Rachel and Luke working on this. When they get the laptop, they hack into the professor’s area (the password was Harvey; they tried all their names first, and find the base.)

They must separate to carry out their plan. Megan attacks Shirley, and Harvey intervenes, pushing Megan off a ledge and killing her. Harvey pretends to have been kidnapped, and leads Shirley to the control room, where his father is waiting. He and his father propose that Shirley join them in World Domination. When Shirley refuses, Alan tries to kill her, but Harvey shoots him. Lance has been planting a bomb while Rachel and Luke help people to escape the base. Just before the blast, Harvey removes Shirley’s memory chip, resulting in the total loss of her experiences since it was put on her. Harvey uses his father’s mind control devices, not to retake the world, but to subjugate Shirley. Lance sees her, a decade later, in a restaurant. She’s a perfect Stepford wife, with two children who are rude to waiters. Harvey is still a creepy douchebag.

Harvey’s Synopsis

Harvey Pendleton is the son of Alan Pendleton. His uncle Tom, having learned of the robot army Alan is building, kidnaps Harvey for his own good. In an attempt to get him back, Alan Pendleton unleashes the robot army across the UK. This attempt fails; Tom succeeds in rescuing five other children in his helicopter, and hides the six children away in a secret base, training them to, eventually, defeat the robots.

Harvey slowly grows to be obsessed with Shirley. He feels no pressure to deal with this, as the only other guys there are Luke, who isn’t interested, and the Professor.

At the age of seventeen, their base is attacked, and the Professor is killed. Harvey and the others escape, and begin searching for the Robot’s base. While searching, they come across Lance, and Harvey takes his memory chip, accidentally destroying his memories of the Robots. Lance also had a tracking device on him, which leads Alan right to Harvey. Alan approaches Harvey when he’s alone, and reveals himself to be the boy’s father. He wants to kidnap or destroy the group, but Harvey won’t let him (why? Does he want to see what Shirley will do without him? Can he spy on them somehow?). Having figured out what the memory chip does, he puts it on Shirley, and leaves with Alan.

Harvey stays at the base with Alan, getting to know his father, and generally learning to be the next Robot leader. The group invade the base, splitting up so Harvey only runs into Megan and Shirley. Megan attempts to kill Shirley; Megan is on Harvey’s side, and though she knows that he likes Shirley, she believes that the fact that Shirley is here to kill his father, and that Megan will have “rescued” him will get Harvey to like her. Harvey pretends to go along with this, and then pushes her off a ledge. Shirley is horrified, despite the fact that he’s saved her life. Harvey tells her that he’s on her side really, that he was kidnapped, and that if she’ll just follow him to the control room, he’ll help her to kill his father.

Shirley goes with him, but Harvey’s plan was to show her his empire, and ask her to be his queen. He is attempting to sexually assault her, after her refusal, when his father walks in. Alan first assumes that they are fighting, and tries to shoot Shirley. Harvey must act quickly to stop him, and shoots him. Afterwards, he explains to Shirley how killing his father proves that he cares about her, and that she should accept him.

Lance walks in; his goal was to plant bombs, and he needs one up here. He threatens to kill Lance. Shirley distracts him, and Lance tackles him. Shirley trains the gun on Harvey, with Lance holding him. Harvey uses some sort of pocket controller, or code word, or something, to get a robot to walk up behind Shirley and hypnotise Lance. Shirley is distracted by the robot and turns, trusting Lance to hold Harvey; she’d forgotten that Lance isn’t immune to them, and Harvey is able to get to her. He takes the memory chip off her, which has two effects; she falls unconscious, as Lance did, and when she wakes up, she won’t remember anything from the point at which it was put on her. Harvey plants the bomb, and carries Shirley out of the building, leaving Lance there. He then uses mind-control devices – such as the memory chip – to enslave Shirley.

Shirley’s Synopsis

Shirley barely remembers a time before the Robots. From the age of six, she’s lived underground, with the Professor who saved her and four other children. She’s friends with Rachel and Luke. Megan doesn’t like her, and Harvey can be quite overly friendly at times.

When Shirley is seventeen, their base is finally found by the Robots, and the Professor is killed. They had intended to wait a while before attacking the base; the plan was almost ready to put into action, but all of the schematics needed were on the Professor’s computers, and they need a way to get back into the system.

While scavenging for food, they picked up another boy, Lance. He was caught by the robots at a young age. Unfortunately, Harvey removes his memory chip before they figure out what it is, and destroys his memories of the base. Very shortly afterwards, Harvey mysteriously disappears in the middle of the night.

The group continue to search for a way into the computer system, and from there into the Controller’s Base. They find one, and divide up jobs. Lance will plant bombs, while Luke and Rachel get everyone out, and Megan and Shirley try to find the Controller’s control room and smash everything. Lance will meet them there, to plant the last bomb and get them out.

Shirley and Megan run into Harvey, who is revealed to be Alan (the Controller)’s son. Megan tries to kill Shirley, thinking this will please him, but he pushes her off a ledge, killing her. He uses this to convince Shirley that he’s really on her side, and they head to the control room, where he tries to convince her to become his Tyrannical Queen. Alan walks in, and threatens Shirley, believed Harvey and Shirley to be arguing. Harvey shoots him, unable to do anything else before he hurts Shirley. Lance walks in at this point, and Harvey turns the gun on him. He’s been watching them (through Lance’s tracking device?) and knows that Shirley has feelings for him. Shirley distracts Harvey, and Lance tackles him. While Lance is holding Harvey, and Shirley has a gun trained on him, Harvey summons one of the Robots. Shirley turns, startled, and forgets that Lance is not immune to hypnosis. When the Robot hypnotises Lance, Harvey manages to get the memory chip that he planted on Shirley off her neck, and she falls unconscious. Harvey carries her out, and uses his father’s mind control devices to control her for the rest of their lives.

Summat Dead Weird

I dreamt this.  I literally dreamt it, then woke up and typed it out, just as it is below.

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Summat dead weird's been 'appening round here recently. Tek this new school we been going to. It's reet posh like, proper gothic with towers an stuff. Posher than anywhere I ever thought I'd be going, any road up. And get this, reet. This dead famous director was standing reet by the gates t'other day. He'd just got out of his limo and was just standin' there, looking confused.

“Y'awreet mate?” I said to 'im, 'cause you would, wouldn't you?

“Excuse me, young man!” He said. Think he were a bit excited someone had spoke to him, you know. “Could you tell me where I am?”

“Yer at me school!” I shouted back over me shoulder. I was late y'see. “But god only knows what yowm doin' 'ere innit mate!”

The next day, I saw that dead famous actor roll up, in his limo. The director was there, and they hugged like brothers. Least, I think they were like brothers. My brother says only poofs hug, but I don't think they were. Our dad's a proper man, my brother says, and we ain't seem him hug anyone in his life.

There were summat wrong with that actor's leg. He were limpin' a bit.

The next day, t'were more people millin' about, lots of people with cameras and those mic-boom-things an' stuff, so I figure, reet, they must be makin' a movie. One of them looks properly ill; he's kneeling on the ground and droolin' and I wonder why none of 'em ain't got time to 'elp him.

Any road up, that dead classy actress strolls up to 'em, looking like something off the red carpet, all long dress and gloves, with her hair all pinned up dead fancy-like.

“Hello boys,” she said, in that accent she has. “Waiting for me?”

“I suppose we were,” the director said. I didn't hear anythin after that, 'cause I was nearly late again and had to leg it dead quick.

The other weird thing is what happens on the way home from school. Me and me brother, we always see the same people on the way home. Neighbours an that. None of them go into t'pub any more! They look at it, reet, with this dead snooty look on their face, like they're thinking “we ain't going in there no more, no way” reet, and then, as they walk past, they look back, dead longing like. I dunno why they don't just go in if they want t'.

These two old biddies, I know they'm 'omeless because me mam used to 'elp 'em out, I said, “Y'can've me fiver if you like, I saved it fer y', 'cause I war'n't 'ungry. Y'can 'ave it fer y' tea.”

And they said “thank you”, and then they said “no thank you”, and carried on. But they did that dead longin' glance at the pub and all.

Next day, I was walking along behind 'em again, and our other neighbour shouted across to 'em. “y'can come and 'ave a sandwich if you like, loves!”. She's dead kind, that neighbour. She makes 'em for the church, for all the other 'omeless, but she was letting these two have first pick.

They looked up at her, all surprised, like they didn't expect her to speak to the likes of them. She's not spoken t'me in a while, truth be told. Anyroad up, they said “no thank you duck", and kept walking. The neighbour looked all confused after they'd gone, and looked after the way they'd went for a while. She didn't look at me though. Not many people seem to look at me any more.

I'm always cold these days. I can't seem to turn the heating on. My brother can though, he can do all sorts. Says he don't need to though, an' he says he won't teach me. Says I'll figure it out for meself, one of these days.

'course, he's been dead a lot longer'n I have.